The Chinese say that a journey of a thousand miles begins with the first step. And goes on one step at a time. The Africans ask: How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time.
As a child, one of my favourite inspirational songs had the words: If you can't climb a mountain then climb a hill, that's much better than standing still; if you can't cross the ocean then cross a stream and little by little you are there.
But how does one apply all this wisdom in real life?
Of course it is important to keep your ultimate goal in mind. But just as important is to break it down into small steps that can be achieved in one 'bite'.
And remember, a relapse or some steps backwards is not a failure. You may have lost some steps, but you are certainly not back at the beginning. Even if you must start afresh, you already have learnt valuable skills and attitudes.
1. Start by writing out your ultimate goal. Give yourself a time period to reach it. Break the time period into smaller time periods. Set a short-term goal for each time period. For example, supposing you want to lose weight. You will not lose ten pounds overnight. But you can lose ten pounds in five weeks; losing two pounds every week.
Or you want to write a book. You may not succeed in writing it overnight, But you may succeed in writing it in four weeks, a few chapters every week. Or that thousand-mile-journey. You will not walk there in one day; but maybe in half a year, a few miles every day. Or you want to save for a house. You will not raise the money for a down-payment overnight; but maybe in three to five years, saving a few ten or hundreds of dollars (or euros or shillings or whatever) at a time.
2. Deal with relapses. A relapse is a hitch along the way; it is not the end. Re-set your time period to accommodate the relapse. Motivate yourself to start again. The worst you can do is to give up after a relapse. It can only get better, if you go on. For example, you might gain weight midway through your diet instead of losing it according to plan. If you abandon the diet out of discouragement, you will gain all the weight back. Alternatively, you can choose to revise your time plan, and go on with the diet.
Or supposing you develop a writer's block after two weeks. You can abandon the book, or, you may go on, taking an extra week or two because of the block, but eventually finishing the book. Or, supposing, halfway through your thousand-mile journey, you break down due to exhaustion. It makes no sense to walk back. It makes more sense to take a rest, then walk on. Or supposing you lose your job or have heavy medical bills that cut into your savings for the house. You could blow the rest of your savings and forget about the house; or you could revise your time plan to between seven and ten years, and continue saving.
3. Eat the part of the elephant nearest to you. You will eventually have eaten the whole elephant. In other words, do what you already can. Accomplish what is within your reach; it will give you the strength and the preparation to reach out to the ultimate goal. This is comparable to swimming the stream, in preparation to crossing the ocean. You will certainly never do it by standing still at the banks and contemplating the water.
For example, if writing the book is too difficult, you can start by writing short articles. You will develop writing skills that you can use to write your book. Or for your diet, if you cannot immediately drop all the food items required by your diet, maybe you can drop the one food item, which is easiest for you, and then gradually drop more items one by one.
It is not for nothing that the sayings go:
Little by little makes a bundle.
'Haba na haba hujaza kibaba' - Swahili - meaning, a drop at a time fills a container.
If you cannot get there all at once, get there little by little.
My name is Lamaro Schoenleber. I am female, African, and live in Germany with my husband. I hold a doctorate in Clinical Psychology and remain active as a therapist and researcher, though currently battling a life-changing and debilitating chronic illness. I am attached to Mbarara university of Science and Technology as a lecturer and researcher into clinical and educational Psychology. I love to write, especially about real life situations mostly related to Psychology, Literature and Language(s).
I used to be merely knowledgeable, but due to my own experiences with chronic (and maybe eventually terminal) illness, migration, forced migration due to war, therapy and teaching experiences, I have discovered a depth of experience that adds real life confirmation to knowledge. This has proved to be persuasive to a lot of people, including my patients. In my opinion, knowledge is most persuasive when it gets personal, and this is what I try to do in my writing.
I am very keen to draw attention to my two pet universities; Mbarara University of Science and Technology (http://www.must.ac.ug) and Gulu University, both in Uganda. They do amazing work and could use all the help they can get. Please stay tuned; an upcoming web-site will provide more information.
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